22 June 2012

Ghost Rider: Spirit of...Who Cares?

So, back in February, Sony did not screen Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance for critics.  After I saw it flop in theaters, I was glad that I did not spend my money or 95 minutes on it.  Yet, curiosity got the better of me.  My younger brother came to visit, and we wondered over to the local Redbox and gave it my $1.50, and rented the latest film from Neveldine/Taylor, the duo behind Crank.

All I really have to say is, 2007’s Ghost Rider was not a spectacular film, but it was not terrible.  Eager to prove that they could do worse, Neveldine/Talyor gave us a sequel devoid of everything but incredibly cool action shots.  Not action scenes, just action shots.  There were numerous videos and articles about how they directing duo were strapped into harnesses and jumped from various things and were attached to various riggings to get the shots.  They also held onto a motorcycle while wearing rollerblades.  So, those action shots did stand out.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance follows Johnny Blaze (Nic Cage) as he tries to save the spawn of Satan (Fergus Riordan) from being taken over by Roarke (Ciaran Hinds), the corporeal form of Satan.  In the meantime, Roarke has dispatched his minion Ray Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth) to capture the child and his mother Nadya (Violante Placido).  Working for the good, we have Moreau (Idris Elba) and a short lived cameo from Anthony Stewart Head, of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer fame.

On no level does Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance work.  The story is convoluted and simply terrible.  All three, yes three, writers should be ashamed of themselves.  The action scenes overall are dumb.  There is one whole scene of Moreau and Blaze doing motorcycle tricks on the highway.  Why?  I don’t know.  The acting is awful.  Last year, I deemed Season of the Witch the worst movie of the year, and stopped trying to defend Nic Cage’s career.  Since then, I have not changed my mind.  As a matter of fact, this is his first theatrically released film following two direct-to-video flops, and I do not see his career getting any better.  Idris Elba has no excuse for being in this.  He is in Thor, and supposedly its sequel.  That should have quenched his thirst for a comic book film.  There is also a quick cameo by the Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert.  I don’t even know why his character is in the film at all.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is terrible and not worth the $1.50 I paid to rent it.  It started off in the worst way possible.  In a movie as shitty as this, there is no reason I should have to wait fifteen minutes to see Ghost Rider himself.  The visual effects were head and shoulders about its predecessor, but who would have guessed I would prefer the original with Eva Mendes and Donal Logue?  Not me.  Neveldine/Taylor was a one-trick pony, and that trick was Crank.  Everything else they have done has been pure garbage, and I am calling a ban on their films along with Cage’s.  Good riddance.

RATING: 1/10

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