02 December 2010


A Fast Way to Waste $$

Faster has one of the weirdest group of actors. It is movie actors in key roles surrounded by TV actors. The actors are Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thorton, Carla Cugino and even Tom Berenger and Mike Epps make quick cameos. After that, CBS Films robbed their own sets and sets from other stations. Michael Irby from The Unit, Jennifer Carpenter from Dexter, Magie Grace and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje from Lost, Xander Berkley from 24 and Moon Bloodgood from Day Break are the ones I recognized. I am sure there are more. George Tillman, Jr., whose best movie to date is Men of Honor, directs a script from Joe and Tony Gayton. This was their first collaborative effort. Both have made decent scripts on their own. The character names look like the casting call.

Let’s begin there. The Rock plays a character known as Driver. Billy Bob is Cop. Newcommer Oliver Jackson-Cohen plays Killer. This is no joke. Those are the names. These are the three “main” characters of Faster. Everyone else has small roles; most only one scene. But, a lot of them have names. Cugino plays Cop’s partner, Cicero. Maggie Grace plays Killer’s lover, Lily. But poor Jennifer Carpenter plays the ex-love of Driver, Woman. Terrible character names. Brutal in fact.

Now that I got that out of the way, let’s look at the plot. At its core, Faster has a creative story. It was just told terribly. It opens with Driver being let out of prison after serving 10 years for a bank heist. He goes on a killing spree/revenge terror to get the guys that killed his brother and left him for dead. If you watch the trailer, he see the movie, for the most part. Along the way, we find out that Driver was shot in the back of the head, but the BULLET BOUNCED AROUND THE INSIDE OF HIS SKULL AND CAME OUT HIS CHEEK. That was verbatim from Cicero. Seriously!?!?!? If you pay attention through the first fifteen minutes, you are given everything you need to put together the rest of the film. Sadly, I paid attention.

The plot holes in Faster are large enough for Driver to broadside slide his car through. Possible spoiler here: He kills everyone, but drives off into the sunset. His face is seen on a security camera when he kills the first guy. His face is all over the news, but he still walks right into a night club to kill someone else, walks through a hospital to finish someone, and can rent a hotel room with no one notices who he is. Let alone, where is going to go after killing everyone? He is a wanted man. His face is everywhere. The other I will quickly mention is that a good cop covering up a bad cop makes the good cop bad. The other plot hole gives away too much. Suffice it to say that Woman mentions something about age that doesn’t add up with Driver’s dead brother and his girlfriend. Oh well.

This movie was rated 'R.' I expect a little blood in my R-rated action movies. I expect some action in my action movies, too. What self-respecting R-rated action film goes to a strip club, and has no gratuitous nudity? Answer: Faster.

One other thing that I just cannot understand about this movie is the time wasted on the back story of Killer. None of it matters. He had polio/crippled as a child? He made his riches in the stock market? Who cares? Not me. It had nothing to do with the story.

Verdict: Rent Faster for the few action scenes that are separated by bad story and execution. I have a script that I am working on that is better than this drivel. I just have to find a way to get it into the right hands. I was disappointed for sure. I am just glad that the local theater has the Rush Hour Shows. For $4.00.

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