23 October 2006

The Marine

Cena not Stallone

From the opening scene, I felt like I was back in the 80s with Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Lundgren, Segal, Weathers, and/or Van Damme. This had that same generic action film feel. Basically, what I am trying to say is, I was in heaven. I miss a good old action movie every now and then. This felt that way. I was ready for the next Stallone. I was hoping that Cena could maybe franchise on this and become the next Rambo. Read below for my results.I

t opens with John Triton, John Cena, in Iraq at a terrorist camp. He is there to do some reconnaissance for the Marines. The bad guys have three American troops tied and bound and ready to be slain. Triton is told to wait for the back-up to show. Of course, there is no time, and he goes in alone, just like Jack Bauer in season four of 24. He takes out 7 or 9 hostiles in his saving of the 3 troops. Cut to a weight room scene in Germany. Triton is then honorably discharged because of his service, but discharged nonetheless for disobeying a direct order. So, we see him come back to his home in South Carolina to his beautiful wife Kate, played by Kelly Carlson of Nip/Tuck fame.

Now, Robert Patrick enters the film as sociopath Rome. He is the leader of the 5-member posse of jewel thieves. They rob a jewelry store of multi millions of dollars in diamonds. It is a very elaborate and fun robbery. They then proceed to blow up a police car and escape.

Back to Triton. John goes to work as a security guard at a building. After an obvious confrontation, he is fired and the fight is caught on tape. He and his wife decide to go on a road trip to try and help him acclimate to the civilian life.

Now, here is where the story is pure eighties. While the Triton family is filling up their Lincoln Navigator’s gas tank, the band of thieves show up at the same gas station to fill their gas tank. A police cruiser Camero shows up. The bad guys get jumpy, and kill them. This prompts John to try and save his wife, but he his knocked down. The bad guys steal his Navigator and his wife. They also blow up the gas station; the only survivor is of course John, somehow. John calls the police on the trashed cruiser’s CB radio. He then goes into pursuit of the robbers. After a fun, but kind of ordinary, car chase, they think that they have killed Triton. But you can’t kill Triton. A humorous reference to The Terminator which Patrick was part of the sequel was made. That was probably the only funny line in the movie. A few were uttered by Rome, but Morgan’s, another of the posse, were just plain awful.

More action ensues, more explosions, more fights, and more weird and pointless story lines. They attempted a plot twist, but it was obvious. More humor was attempted, but again, not funny. In the climactic finale, Triton jumps onto a semi truck cab being driven by Rome. Kate is handcuffed to the truck cab in the back. After being driven through a few buildings, Triton finally loses his grip. But that doesn’t stop him. Rome dives out of the semi as its plummets into the lake with Kate trapped inside. After a five minute, terribly awful and unbelievable fight, Triton jumps in and gets her out. Attempts CPR, but Rome is not dead yet. He attacks Triton like the final villain in Die Hard. Luckily, Kate is revived and the day is saved.

Now, I know that I used the word “unbelievable” up the above paragraph. I know that there is a lot more in this movie that is unbelievable, but, when watching this movie, I have a certain amount that I let slide. But in the end, it pushed that limit too far. I would have given this movie a 7, maybe even an 8 if it were not for the terrible finale. There were other factors that I left out as to why I rate this movie as low as I did. I typically like action movies. I especially like mindless action movies. But I had high hopes for this, and it fell short. Cena as an actor was not that great, but that was not shocking. Unfortunately, this was not in the same league as Predator, Rambo, Under Siege, or even Time Cop. But for a first go at it, not too shabby.

Verdict: Rent it if you want to, but it is not worth $10. I only paid $4 because I found a theater that has early matinee prices on Saturday and Sunday.

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