11 October 2006

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

3 Fast, 3 Furious: Let this be the last.

I had the displeasure of watching this piece of garbage in the comfort of my own home. Thank goodness for that. I didn't understand the movie from the get-go. A piece of white trash races his suped up jalaopy against a football player's daddy's Viper. OK, fine. But then, the race was lame, but original. But then, the rich kids get off completely clean. Not for our hero WHITE TRASH BOY. Our superhero then has to go to Tokyo to live with his Naval father who happens to be building a classic Camero, I mean Mustang, in a garage.

For some reason, White Trash Boy, or WTB for short, ends up at a school with Bow Wow, not to be confused with his formal self Lil Bow Wow. In 30 years, he will be Ol Bow Wow. They become BFF. Now, on their first day of meeting, they go to a parking garage where they drift. A style of racing where the cars slide around corners as opposed to turn around them. This is where I totally gave up on the movie. Not because of the drifting, but because of the Yakuza. That's right, the Japanese mafia. The best drifter, DK, for Donkey King, I mean, Drift King, is a child molester. He and WTB are fighting over the same girl. So, being all macho, WTB challenges him. Why? He doesn't know how to drift. He barely knows the girl. And he certainly doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of beating the DK.

After the loss, there is an attempt at a plot in which a guy that loaned him a car to destroy becomes a new BFF but he is ripping off the Yakuza. He teached WTB how to drift. The GF knows how to drift, too. But she doesn't race.So, it all comes down to the final conflict in which WTB has to clear his name or the Yakuza will have his head. "What is WTB's solution to the problem?" you ask. Well, since you asked, he decides they will race for it. Of course, this is ok with the Yakuza. DK choses the course that only he has finished. So, remember that Mustang? They make that into a drift car for WTB to compete in. Well, he wins, clearing himslef with the Yakuza and becoming the new DK.

Vin Diesel makes a terrible cameo at the end. Just thought I would ruin that, too. Well, actually, I tell you in hopes that you feel that you have seen this movie and do not waste time and/or money on it.Another problem with the film is that you cannot recognize the cars that they are driving. They have too big of body kits, too much paint, and too much other crap on them to even tell what they are.

One plus, all the driving is real. No CGI. That is impressive. I just don't understand why eveything in this film had to suck. Not that I was expectng anything better after the very bad first sequel. To sum it up, this movie could have been improved had they cast Paul Walker instead of Lucas Black.


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